You are not how they want.

You work for me.
You talk for me. 
You pay for me. 

You fight for me.
You are imprisoned by me.
You are attacked by me. 

My name is freedom, 
and YOU belong to me. 

So This Is How It Ends.

So, this is how it ends.
This is where my hand writes the last page of my novel. It was shorter than I expected.
It's quiet in my room. My hands are trembling. And the ceiling is winning this staring contest. 
I can do nothing to fight against these thoughts. There's no where to run to. 
There's no where to hide. And there's no one to call. I am alone. 
But that is what I wanted all along... wasn't it?
There is no one that knows who I am, or how I feel. 
Yet I am crying for someone to just hold me.
For someone to just acknowledge that I exist. 
Please.

There's a creak at my door. I hide. My mom calls to me, but is left with no answer. 
She leaves. I exhale, divulging from the corner of my room. 
Now all is calm. But I can feel the waves crashing against my tender heart. 
I urge myself to remember the sorrow, but it has no effect. 
I lay still, feeling the blood trickle from my gaping chest. 
I am hollow. Yet all I crave is destruction. 
The clock ticks at 1:38 a.m. I tense up. 
The walls are closing in, and I can't breathe. 
Why do I confide these feelings. Why do I continue to exist?
It would be so easy..

The thought sends chills down my back. I smile. 
To think all this pain to be gone in an instant makes me relax.
And makes me want to vomit. I check my phones empty messages. 
Knowing there is nothing there, but I want to believe. My stomach contracts.
My brain is on fire, and I can't hug my knees any tighter. 
The tears build up again. I break. 

The air is now chilly, and I'm met again with that still silence again. 
Nothing is thought. But my insides are already on fire. 
I am now angry. I'm angry at life. I'm angry at God.
Why is this happening to me? Why don't they just understand? 
My heart is under siege as my mind begins to beat. 
I think of my dad. How he yelled at me. And my mom, how she justifies why I am wrong.
I punch the floor. And once again. The pain soothing to my heated thoughts. 
I breathe. The steam boiling from my eyes. 
I am still alone. 
I am still alone. 

I make it into my bed. The pillows feel good against my back. 
The moon casting its helping hand around my neck as I close my eyes. 
They didn't mean to hurt me. They only want what's best. 
If only they would understand. I wipe my eyes, and think of tomorrow. 
Everything is going to be okay. 
It's late, and you're alone. 
You're in pain, and there's no end to the silence, banging against your skull. 
Everything at this moment is weighing down on your shoulders more than it should be. 
Just breathe. Relax.
Everything is going to be okay. 

I feel my eyes grow weary, and the covers feel warm against my fragile skin.
The clock blinks to 2 a.m.
I think of my apology, and how I can make them feel okay.
Everything is going to be okay. 
I smile. I sleep. 

You Don't know.

We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat! We looked!
And we saw him!
The Cat in the Hat!
And he said to us,
“Why do you sit there like that?”

Why do you sit there? 
                      like that? 

In this world we are nothing but biased .
But who are we to say what's right ,
And what's wrong, 
Without our own hat?

We're all destined to be great. 
Yet personality is just a unbroken series 
                                             of successful gestures.

We take it as if its a competition.
Run by the list of our culture:
1. Cash is king.
2. Communication.
3. Buy, or bury the competition. 

As if your hat alone makes you better than another. 
But in a way, it does. 


So quick are we to judge.
But here's the thing.

You just don’t know.

You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life.

You just don’t know the entire situation and the circumstances that are involved.

You just don’t know what’s going on in another person’s head.

You can't even see what color of fabric circles the brim of their head.

So why,

Why do we judge a person so quick. 

Because I got news for you. 

That style magazine that came in the mail,

ain't so fresh now. (And also your neighbor Franks copy).

And your idea of beauty, is just another brick in the wall.

When you judge another,

you do not define them,

you define YOURSELF.

Studies show that on average, the brain compensates and judges a person on a trust level within 0.3 seconds of sight. 0.3 seconds. 

Hey! Oh, you're wearing THAT hat... I gotta get home.

We've all got dirty hands, 

                                And all those nice services you did for your friends

aren't looking so clean now.

And if you are the one wearing the spunky hat, I got news for you friend,

People are always gonna be putting you down,

they're always going to turn their shoulder,

and always gonna press that send button. 

But you know what? 

They'll never be you.

They'll never know you,

Never experience you,

Hell they'll never get the chance to be you!

But they still gonna be driving their nails, deep in your wood,

scratching and prying at your gentle finished touch. 

So put another board behind you and grow stronger, with every crashing blow. 

You are yourself;

You may wear your own hat, 

And you may put on a show, 

but in the end, 

you are nothing but a shard of glass, 

hiding behind the simple fabric on your head, 

that changes everything. 

She bruises, coughs, she sputters pistol shots.

In a world of corruption, it's no wonder we hear,
All the words of excitement, the pleasure and fear.

Yet among all these words, is a phrase we all know,
It's dreaded saying I used so many years ago.

The feelings of panic, aversion and envy,
Are all words that depression gives up to temp thee.

But take it from me, I ain't no damn preacher,
This blood in the water is a psychological creature.

Who feeds on your insides, and hollows your bones;
Ain't no man safe, cept himself Davy Jones.

But that's not the story, I came here to tell;
No, here I am writing to jump start your brain cell.

Open your eyes, and look all around,
at the people and buildings, all blotted in your background!

There's so much we miss, when our sight is impaired,
All the feelings of joy! We miss trying to be repaired.

Yet there isn't a person, who can truly fix us;
No that person is you, that can make all the difference.

I'm not gonna tell you it ain't a great battle,
But it makes it a whole lot easier when you know that you matter.

So take a deep breath, let your anchor float free,
And see where the waves will take your body;
In the great big world of an emotional sea.